


Panic

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [310]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Illness, Negative Self Talk, Panic Attack, Supportive Benny, Supportive Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 14:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8493553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: Sam has a panic attack during a hunt.





	

The first thing Sam realizes once he’s able to focus on anything besides the blinding panic and trying to get his breathing back under control is that he _collapsed in the middle of a goddamn hunt._  That alone almost sends him spiraling back into another anxiety attack, if he didn’t have concrete proof that Benny and Dean are fine. Benny crouches on one side of him, Dean on the other.

“You’re okay, Sugar,” Benny says. “Gonna be jus’ fine.”

Experience tells Sam that Benny is right, but right then it doesn’t feel it. Right then, he feels like shit, honestly.

“The hunt?” he manages to ask.

“Taken care of,” Dean assures him, frowning. “What…are you okay?”

Sam shrugs. Physically, he’ll be fine. It’s not the first time and his body always manages to bounce back, even if he can’t stop it from eventually doing it again. But it’s never happened during a hunt before, and Sam stares hard at the ground.

Things turned out all right, Dean and Benny are fine, but Sam’s ill-timed panic attack could have just as easily gotten them both killed. It’s a disgusting feeling, to know how close he came to fucking everything up. 

He thought he was through this, that these wouldn’t happen anymore. Apparently, he was wrong, and they chose the worst possible time to make a reappearance.

Benny tilts Sam’s chin up. “Everythin’s fine,” he says. Sam closes his eyes for a moment. Benny’s fingers on his chin feel good, and his voice feels good, low and soothing. Benny always seems to have that affect.

Sam tries to tell himself not to do it, that they have more important things to do than take care of his sorry ass and he doesn’t need to seem any weaker anyways, but before he really knows what he’s doing, he’s clinging to Benny, who immediately wraps his arms around Sam.

Dean lays an awkward but obviously well-intentioned hand over Sam’s shoulder, rubbing gently. “You okay?” he asks again.

Sam nods into Benny’s shoulder, which he thinks pretty effectively negates the gesture, but he has to try regardless. “S–sorry,” he manages to get out.

Benny kisses his neck, about all he can reach, Sam figures. “Don’t be sorry,” he murmurs. “Jus’ wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I let you guys down,” Sam says, voice still muffled by Benny’s shoulder.

Dean snorts. “That’s why we hunt in teams, Sammy. So we can be there for each other. We got your back.”

Benny holds him for another minute, then shifts slightly. “Ya think we could move this to the car?” he asks.

Sam nods. Walking is possible, it’s not like he was injured except maybe a scrape or two when he fell. He just feels a little shaky still.

Thankfully, Benny and Dean seem to know that. Benny keeps an arm around Sam and Dean sticks to their slow pace, making their way back to the car. Dean gets into the driver’s seat, and Benny and Sam climb into the backseat, Benny still holding Sam close.

“How you feelin’?” Benny asks.

Sam takes stock. He still feels like shit–no matter what Dean says, Sam essentially bailed in the middle of a hunt–but he’s breathing steadily and he thinks he’s okay. He shrugs. “Fine,” he says.

Benny seems to see right through him. “You don’t gotta  feel bad ‘bout the hunt,” he says. “We can take care of things on our own, every once in a while.”

“It’s just…bad enough that happened, and you two had to see it,” Sam says. “But right then? In a hunt? You two could’ve died because I can’t control this stupid thing and–”

“No,” Dean speaks up. “You can’t control it. It’s just a thing, Sam. It happens. You need to–not stress about it.”

Sam snorts to convey his thoughts about how impossible that will be, but Benny just rubs his back. “Try,” he says. “And for the rest…please don’t hide this from us, Sugar. We wanna help.”

Sam stills in Benny’s arms briefly. “It doesn’t happen that often,” he hedges.

“But when it does…we’re here for you,” Benny says.

“Always, Sam,” Dean echoes.

Sam feels tears pricking the corners of his eyes, and Benny just holds him tighter.

Sam’s probably not going to be completely okay that he had a panic attack during a hunt anytime soon–anything could have happened–but their support is starting to make him feel a bit better. He sinks a bit deeper into Benny’s arms, listens to him breath and the Impala rumble, and lets himself start to relax.


End file.
